


The Beginning Or The End

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon, Drama, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-10
Updated: 2005-07-03
Packaged: 2018-12-26 20:43:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12066645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin and Brian lives are about to change, will it be for the better or the worst?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

**AN:** Thanks to Carly for being my beta for this chapter, I really appreciate it. Also, a very special thank you to Tay and Sid, for encouraging me to continue writing this story, and also for all their wonderful help.

* * *

Brian yawned, scratching his head as he walked down the stairs leading from his bedroom. Stopping to pick up the paper from the stoop, Brian continued to his journey to the kitchen to make his morning coffee. This was one instance where he really hated Justin being gone, he had to make his own coffee. Listening to the coffee machine, Brian let his thoughts wonder, he remembered that day three months ago when Justin decided to leave.

**Flashback**

“So, this is it?” Brian asked as Justin finished packing his things

“Brian, we knew this day had to come eventually, I couldn’t wait forever.”

“Yeah, I know but I thought you’d be more broken up over it.”

“What do you want me to do, scream and cry about it?” Justin asked going around the loft one more time to make sure he got everything.

“Well, no but at least look depressed. I’ve never seen a person happier they were leaving my presence.”

At Justin’s look, Brian decided to rephrase the sentence.

“Well, other then Ted, and Mel,” Brian said pouting as Justin paid no attention to him.

“Stop pouting,” Justin said not even looking over at Brian to know that he was doing exactly that. “This is a great opportunity for me; this is the internship I’ve had dreams about. And before you say it, yes I’ve had other dreams besides of you”

Brian said nothing, but the smirk on his face said everything.

”This is my time to finally do something with my life, and even if you don’t want to admit that you don’t want me to leave, which I know that you don’t, and that you will miss me when I’m gone.”

Brian was saved from having to answer by the buzzer going off signifying the arrival of the cab to take Justin to the airport. To avoid a mushy good bye, Brian helped Justin take his bags to the cab, and with a quick kiss, and a later; Justin was in a cab on the way to the airport.  
**end flashback**

Brian was brought back out of his thoughts by the coffee machine beeping signifying that his coffee was ready. Pouring his coffee, and grabbing the paper, Brian walked over to the island and sat down. Looking up at the clock, Brian realized in about five minutes he would have to start getting ready for work. ‘Better enjoy my downtime,’ Brian thought to himself

**********  
“I’m sorry, want to say that again, I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“Sir, I said a congratulation were in order.”

“What the fuck for?”

“You’re pregnant,” the doctor said looking at the man in front of her. 

“I’m assuming this wasn’t planned.”

“PLANNED? OF COURSE IT WASN’T PLANNED! How the fuck am I pregnant anyway?” He asked, lowering his voice, knowing that it wasn’t the doctor’s fault, and he really shouldn’t have yelled at her. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell, it’s just that……”

“I understand, it came as quite a surprise, and you’re stressed out. But to answer your question; as you know a lot of male pregnancies have been popping up recently.” Seeing the man nod, the doctor continued. “It really isn’t that uncommon, and it’s as safe as any other pregnancy that a woman has. Look, I see you need time to digest this, but I have to ask you. Are you going to keep the baby?”

“Of course I am.”

“OK, there are books you can read if you want to understand this better, and also books on how to take care of yourself. Also if you have any questions at all, just call the hospital. Here’s my card, with my number on it, for if you just have a specific question only I can answer or an emergency.” The doctor handed her card to the young man. As the man turned to leave the room, she called out to him one more time.

‘Oh, and Justin?”

“Yeah, Doctor Reynolds?”

“Your first appointment is in two weeks.”

“I’ll see you then,” Justin replied before walking out of the room.

“Good luck,” doctor Reynolds whispered into thin air watching as the young man left the building. Sighing, she looked down at her chart, seeing she had another patient in about 5 minutes, she quickly gathered with she needed and left her office.

********

“Cynthia,” Brian yelled as soon as he got into the office

“You bellowed?” Cynthia called out as soon as he got situated in his office.

“Yeah, what the fuck is this?” Brain asked holding up a poster board.

“The art department dropped it off earlier; it’s supposed to be the board for tomorrow’s meeting.”

“The fuck it is,” Brian replied throwing the board across the room. “Maybe they didn’t understand me when I was talking about what the fuck I wanted for this fucking board.” 

Right now, Brian was practically seething and you could almost see fire coming out of his nostrils, which was why Cynthia took a few steps back while he was busy writing something down a piece a paper. She seriously hoped it wasn’t a hit list, but the mood Brian was in, she wouldn’t be surprised.

“This,” Brian said while slamming the piece of paper down hard enough to scare poor Cynthia out of her thoughts. “Is what I want for this fucking piece of shit poster presentation. Tell the art department just because Justin isn’t here doesn’t mean they don’t have to work as hard. And you also tell them that if it isn’t perfect in 4 hours, they are all fired.”

“Brian, don’t you think that’s a little harsh?” Cynthia asked already walking towards the door.

“No,” was Brian’s only reply.

Knowing she had been dismissed, Cynthia continued on out of the door, knowing that if she didn’t do exactly what Brian said, the art department wouldn’t be the only people who were going to get fired today.

**********  
Justin walked around aimlessly, taking in the sites of the city. Thinking about how the fuck he was going to tell Brain that he was pregnant. PREGNANT! For gods sake. He knew Brian wasn’t ready to have another kid, Brian told him that repeatedly. No matter how many times they had that argument; it always ended up with Brian having the last word. And as you know if the great god Kinney doesn’t get his way, he’ll have a drama queen moment until the world tilts back on its axis and it goes Brian’s way again. Justin was so into his thoughts he didn’t realize he had walked past his building until he looked up and saw the street sign. Sighing, Justin turned back around and started back to his apartment.

Once in his apartment, Justin locked the door, then turned around and headed for his bedroom. Justin knew that he had to tell Brian, it would be even worse if Brian found out later on in the pregnancy. He knew that he would never be forgiven if that happened. Once in his bedroom, Justin stripped out of his clothes, and remembered when Brian came to visit. According to Doctor Reynolds, that would have been the time that this baby was conceived. 

****Flashback****

Justin had only been in LA for a month before there was a knock on his door. Knowing that no one back in the Pitts would know his address, not even Brian, because he wanted it to be fixed up better before he came, he was a little worried about who was at the door.

“Who is it?” He called out.

“Who do you think it is?” came a sarcastic tone from the other side of the door

Recognizing the voice, Justin threw open the door, and on the other side was a thing of beauty. Brian Kinney, in tight blue jeans, and his signature black wife beater. 

“Well, aren’t you going to let me in?” Brian asked, but secretly liking the way Justin was gazing at him. Like a hungry man ready to pounce after a couple of days without food or water. Brian liked that look; it meant that he and Justin would be having a lot of sex.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Justin said snapping out of his thoughts of jumping Brian in the doorway, and doing it right there for all to see. Steeping over to the side, letting Brian walk by, Justin couldn’t help but admire Brian’s butt in those jeans. Man! Did he miss Brian when he was gone.

“So, nice place you got here,” Brian said while looking around. Even though it looked like it wasn’t finished, Brian could sense a homey feeling coming from it.

“Oh, yeah, it isn’t really finished; I still have some stuff to get.”

“Really? I would have never noticed,” came the sarcastic reply from Brian.

Leading Brian over to the couch, they sat down and engaged in a little small talk. Just the usual stuff, how are you eating? How’s Kinnetic? How’s your internship? Just stuff like that. And when they ran out of stuff to talk about they both just sat there.

“So,” Justin said, the silence finally getting to him.

“So,” Brian replied back. Looking at Justin up and down, man how he wanted to fuck him.

“Enough of this shit, Fuck me!” Justin demanded as he stood up.

“Oh thank god, this being nice was killing me,” Brian said already thinking about a night full of sexual pleasure.

“Here or the bedroom?” Justin asked as soon as Brian was a hairsbreadth away from him.

“Here’s good,” Brian replied. Before Justin could ask anything else Brian attacked him.

Pulling Justin taut against his body, Brian started off by kissing Justin’s neck. The kisses weren’t hurried, they were slow sensual kisses meant to drive Justin crazy. And it was working if the little whimpers he was making were any indication. Moving from his neck to his ear, Brian carefully nipped on Justin’s earlobe, before sucking it into his mouth.

“Oh god,” Justin whispered as Brian finished sucking on his earlobe, and gently blew on it, making Justin shiver. Moving from his ear, Brian kissed every part of Justin face, eyebrow, nose, and just to get Justin riled up farther, he kissed the corner of his mouth, never touching the place he knew Justin wanted him to.

“Please, Brian. Please kiss me,” Justin begged.

“All in due time Justin,” Brian replied smiling slightly as he moved on to give the same treatment to the left side of Justin’s face. When Brian got to Justin’s mouth, Brian kissed him forcefully, the complete opposite of the sensual kisses he was doing before. Brian’s hand made its way from Justin’s hip to the back of his head, crushing his lips harder against Justin’s. Thrusting his tongue into Justin’s mouth, Brian imitated what his cock was going to be doing later. After a while of kissing, with both tongues dueling for dominance, Brian abruptly stopped kissing Justin, pulled him a little ways from his body, and started taking off Justin’s clothes. After seeing Justin’s lips so red and slightly bruised from all the kissing, Brian knew he no longer wanted a slow fuck. He wanted it hard and fast, and rough. And from the way that Justin was attacking his clothes with equal fervor, he knew Justin wanted it the same way. Once they were both naked, Brian gently threw Justin on to the couch, and took a moment to gaze at him. ‘God how I missed him,’ Brian thought to himself. Running his hands down Justin’s body, he took in the slight muscles that Justin was getting.

“Have you been going to the gym, sunshine?” 

“Of course I have, its California for god’s sake. It’s like a life necessity when you’re living close to Hollywood. Now, get on with it.”

“Bossy bottom,” Brian replied, lightly slapping Justin leg for that comment. Seeing how impatient Justin was getting, and how hard, he decided to get on with it. Moving back up his Justin’s body, Brian stopped at Justin’s chest and took one of his nipples into his mouth lavishing it with spit and worrying it between his teeth, lightly biting down on it every now and then.

“Oh god Brian more,” Justin whispered, pulling Brian head harder down onto his nipple, trying to get more stimulation. Brian moved off of Justin’s right nipple, blowing on it, making it harden even more. Changing nipples, he gave the same exact treatment to Justin’s left, also blowing on it when he was done. Licking both nipples one more time, Brian slowly kissed down Justin’s pleasure trail, stopping at his belly button to rim the inside, knowing it got Justin crazy. 

“Ahhhhhhhh,” Brian heard Justin moan from above him. Moving farther down, Brian finally got to Justin’s cock. Looking up at Justin’s face, Brian couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Justin looked when he was completely turned on. Justin’s eyes were half-lidded; you could only see a sliver of the blue in his eyes. His face was slightly flushed, and his lips were full and red. Brian knew he probably wouldn’t last much longer when if he blew Justin, but he also knew how to wait, and knew that his orgasm would be that much sweeter. Turning his attention back to Justin’s cock, standing hard and proud in front of him, he took it all in one fail swoop.

‘Ahhhhhhhh, oh god!” Justin yelled practically arching all the way off the couch. Holding on to Justin’s hips so he could gain better purchase, Brian continued to blow Justin. Slowing licking around the crown of the head, he dipped the tip of his tongue into the pee slit, slowly fucking it. Then he licked his way up the vain on the underside of his cock, before moving back up to repeat the process. Before long, Justin was a quivering mass above him, constantly moaning and groaning every time he fucked his pee slit. When he felt Justin getting closer to his orgasm, he suddenly stopped doing anything on his cock.

“Brian,” Justin whined, trying to get pull Brian’s head back on his cock.

“Ah, ah, ah, sunshine,” Brian said while removing Justin’s hands from his hair. “We don’t want this to finish early do we?”

“Oh god Brian, who cares, just fuck me,” Justin replied trying to hurry him along. 

“Nope, turn over.”

After helping Justin roll over, Brian took one of the pillows and put it under his hips so he could be eye to eye with Justin’s rosy pink bud. Leaning down, Brian took a whiff, always liking how Justin smelled and tasted when he was rimming him. Spearing his tongue, Brian drove right in, not giving Justin any warning. Noticing how tight of a hold Justin had on his tongue, Brian wiggled his slippery appendage around, loosening Justin up for the fucking that was coming. Chewing gently around his asshole, Brian licked it afterwards to soothe the sting, and then drove right back in rimming Justin. Pulling out his tongue, Brian wetted a finger, and then started to finger fuck Justin. By then he couldn’t ignore his own cock any more, quickly introducing another finger, he scissored his fingers, stretching Justin for what was to come. Turning Justin back over, he quickly donned a condom, and lubed himself up before placing Justin’s legs on his shoulders.

“Are you ready?” Brian asked

“Oh yeah,” Justin replied, breathing heavily. “Fuck me”

And Brian did just that. It was hard and furious, knowing that they both wouldn’t last long. Brian slammed his cock into Justin’s ass over and over again, with Justin screaming his appreciation loudly. Changing his angle, Brian started to hit Justin prostate with every thrust of his cock, in and out of his hole. 

“Yes, yes, yes, yes!” Justin chanted every time Brian’s cock hit his prostate. Feeling his orgasm approaching Justin grabbed his cock, stroking it in time with Brian’s thrusts. Justin knew when Brian was close because Brian started speeding up.

“Oh yeah Brain harder. Yes, yes, right there, oh god right there!” Justin screamed out. Panting heavily, Justin’s orgasm hit him like a freight train.

“Brian!” Justin screamed out his orgasm. He distinctly heard Brian also calling out his name too. Pulling out, Brian dropped Justin’s legs and disposed of the condom. He lay down on Justin’s body, catching his breath. Only to roll over a few minutes later, to look into Justin’s eyes.

“If you put out like this every time I come down here, I have got to start coming down here more often. Brian said

****end flashback****

The rest of the night was filled with more fucking of every type, and this baby was a reminder of that night. Sighing, Justin looked down at his cock, noticing that it now interested after remembering that night 2 months ago. Telling himself that that’ll have to wait, Justin walked into his living room, picked up the phone and called Brian.

*****

“Brian line one.” came Cynthia’s voice over his intercom.

“Who the fuck is it?” Brian replied back. Not hearing an answer, Brian barked into the phone.

“What?” 

“Brian, it’s me.”

“Justin, what are you doing calling? I said I was going to come out there this weekend.”

Hearing Justin sigh loudly, Brian knew he better start paying attention because it must me big if Justin couldn’t wait for this weekend.

“Justin, what is it?” Brian asked concern practically dripping from his voice.

“I’m……I’m……I’m……”

“Justin, spit it out all ready!” Brian asked, losing his patience.

“PREGNANT!” Justin screamed out over the line.


	2. The Beginning Or The End

Pregnant, Justin was pregnant with his kid. Part of Brian wanted to be excited; I mean, he was having a baby, a family with Justin. A child that would be his 24 hours, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. No only stopping by on the weekends and seeing his child’s face fall as he walked away to the cries of wanting him to stay. No having to check with the “real” parents to take his kid to the park for an hour. It would be his…..his and Justin’s. Brian should’ve been happy, so why was it he was only able to muster a tiny bit of happiness for the situation they were in.

“Brian? Brian are you ok? Say something.” Came Justin’s voice over the line.

Justin was getting concerned, he hadn’t heard anything out of Brian for at least 5minutes, and when he did, Justin really wished Brian hadn’t asked this.

“What?” Justin asked pretending to have not heard the question. Why couldn’t Brian be happy? I mean they were going to have a baby, and be a family. Does Brian really not love him enough to give him what he always wanted?

“Is…..it……mine?” Brian asked again pronouncing each word clearly so Justin could not mistake the words for anything else. He really didn’t mean to ask, but it just came out. So he waited, silently, wanting Justin to answer the question. I mean, if the baby was really his, would Justin really wait this long to answer the question. To Brian it seemed like forever, but in reality it was really only a few seconds before Justin’s voice came back over the line. 

“How can u ask that? Justin whispered brokenly.

“How can I not? Came Brian’s reply.

“It was an accident, a one time thing!”

“It doesn’t change the fact that u cheated on me

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT” Justin yelled out” AND how come when I trick it’s cheating but when u do it it’s a lifestyle” Justin said sarcastically. Brian always pulled this, this double-standard on him all the time. 

“OH, like I'm supposed to believe that? Brian bit out. Replying to the first part of Justin’s statement and choosing to ignore the second.

“Believe what you want! You always do” Justin said, the fight having gone out of him. He knew that once Brian got something in his head, he wouldn’t let it go until he was proved actively wrong. He was like a dog with a bone. Sometimes it was a good thing, when it wasn’t turned on him.

“Look,” Brian started” I have a meeting in 5 minutes” Which was a lie because when Justin called he was just cleaning up and leaving for the day. He knew in the back of his mind that Justin probably knew the truth, but right now, he really didn’t want to deal with this matter anymore; he wanted to push it all out of his mind.

“Yeah, I got to go too.”

Brian hung up first without saying later, because in his heart he didn’t know if he really wanted there to be a later.  
**********************  
Justin stayed on the phone for a little while longer, just listening to dial tone ringing in his ear. He knew what incident Brian was talking about. 

It was two days after Brian went back to the Pitts, and he had a hellish day at his internship. Top that off with feeling lonely, and missing Brian, Justin didn’t have any doubt as to what he had to do next. He got drunk. Found the first gay pub and got stinking drunk. At first, he was only buying the cheap whisky, the kind that would get you drunk quickly, but then guys started buying him drinks and what else could he do besides except them with a smile on his face. After about an hour, he was flat out drunk, flying high and ready for sex. He picked up one of the guys who had bought him numerous drinks, and took him home. He really didn’t remember much of that night, but the next day, when he woke up the trick told him the condom broke. To make matters worse, he also found out he slept with one of people he goes to school, and were good friends with. That same day, they both got tested, and two weeks later, found out they were negative of everything. What a fucking relief that was to Justin, until that same week he was told he was pregnant. Justin could say he didn’t know who the father was, but he would be lying. He knew in his heart it was Brian’s, plus his due date coincided with the sex weekend they had. 

Pulling himself out his thoughts; Justin put down the phone, well aware he was still holding it to his head and wondered how he could possibly fix the mess that had become his life.

**********************  
“BRIAN OVER HERE” Michael yelled, as soon as he spotted him walking into the door of Woody’s.

Brian walked over towards their table, dressed in his usual clubbing attire. After he hung up with Justin, Brian had called Michael, and told him to call the guys; they were going to have a night out. At first, Michael refused, because he had to go to work early tomorrow to start inventory, but after few choice words from Brian and a promise they wouldn’t stay long, Michael readily agreed. Now here he was 6 hours later, and Brian wasn’t too sure this was a great idea to begin with.

“Brian, you asshole, you invite us and arrive 30 minutes late” Michael said as soon as Brian got close enough.

“Well” Brian said spreading his arms wide. “You can’t rush perfection” after a few seconds, Brian continued. “Well you can, but then you’d look like Ted, and who’d want that”   
With his usual tongue and cheek smirk, Brian sat down and immediately ordered a drink. 

“So?” Michael asked as soon as Brian had his drink.

“So what?” Brian replied, not wanting to hear Michael’s whining tonight.

“Why did you want to go out tonight?”

“I needed someone to drive me home.”

Leaving Michael with his mouth gaping open after that statement, Brian picked a trick that was moderately good looking, and pulled him into the bathroom.

**********************  
In the bathroom, even though he was getting a blow job, his usual course of pain management was not helping. His thoughts still strayed to Justin, I mean why couldn’t Justin see his point of view; he didn’t want to have another kid. *He probably did this on purpose* Brian thought to himself. But if he was being truthful to himself, he knew Justin would do nothing of the sort. Pushing the trick off of him, he pulled up his pants, and walked out of the bathroom hearing the trick yell as the door closed. Not even glancing in the guys’ direction, he headed straight to the bar, and proceeded to get extremely drunk. 

At about 1 am, Michael grabbed Brian’s arm, dragged him out of Woody’s, and drove him home.

“You’re an asshole, do you know that?” Not caring if Brian answered or not Michael continued “You call me up, only to want me to be your chauffeur boy, this is fucking not happening again.” 

Pulling up to the loft’s building, Michael put the Jeep in park, and went through the process of getting a drunk off his ass Brian out of the car, and up to his apartment. 

“Where’s you’re fucking keys?” Michael asked as he went through all Brian’s pockets, but before he could look any farther, the Loft’s door opened. 

“Oh my god” Michael whispered staring in shock at the person who opened the door. 

Brian, who was propped up by the door, blissfully unaware of anything, suddenly became much more coherent as his door was opened from the inside.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?” Brian yelled out at the person. Realizing he couldn’t do this confrontation with Michael here, he turned to said person.

“Michael. Go home”

“But…..But” Michael stuttered.

“NO! “ Brian yelled. “Take a cab and go home.” Taking out his cell phone and calling the cab company, Brian also took out some money to give to him.

“This should be enough” Brian said handing Michael the money.

Michael, ready to say something else took one look at the glances being passed between the two men, and decided to just do what Brian said. Kissing Brian lightly on the lips, Michael turned around and headed down the stairs, but not before calling out to them.

“Cant you two fuck on your own time?” 

Leaving it at that, Michael left. After making sure Michael left, Brian pushed past the person on his way into the loft. Leaving the door open, because he knew the person would close it, Brian walked over to the couch not really wanting to have the conversion he knew was coming.

“So, I ask again. What the fuck are you doing here Justin?”


	3. The Beginning Or The End

Thanxs to my wonderful beta ash. Who took time to beta my story. And also this is for Sid cause she fucked me over with the basement shit for her story Here I come to save the day, username KaMiKaZeReDuX . So I’m fucking her over with this.

* * *

1 hour ago…….  
Justin had decided to get on a plane and go to Pittsburgh about an hour after he got off the phone with Brian. Calling the Airlines, and booking the quickest flight he could find, Justin was on his way. Not even taking in what might have changed or checking in with anybody, Justin hailed a cab, and was on his way to the loft. By the time the he got to Pittsburgh, it was already 12 am. Since his flight did not leave until 8, he lounged around until the time came for him to go, not even thinking about what he was doing. Only when the loft came into view was Justin having second thoughts about what the fuck he was doing here. Brian hung up on him; Brian was the one who had the problem, so why was he here trying to fix their messed up relationship when it was clear that Brian wasn’t even sure he wanted to have a relationship with him anymore. Sighing and thinking it was too late to turn back now, he paid the cab driver, and used the key he still had to let himself into the building and into the loft. Seeing how nothing has changed while he was gone, Justin decided to just wait, and hope that Brian came home soon. It was around an hour and thirty minutes later, and Brian had not come home, before Justin had started to take Brian not being home as a sign, before he heard someone outside the door. Pulling the door open, he had no time to register Michael’s shocked face before he looked towards Brian. Seeing his face, Justin definitely thought that maybe this was not a good idea.

********** Present time**********  
“I ask again Justin. What are you doing here?” Brian asked. In the back of his mind, he knew that he probably should’ve been sober for this conversion, but if he was being truthful he knew that as soon as he talked to Justin, he would’ve went for the alcohol anyway.

“I…..I…..just”

“SPIT IT OUT ALREADY” Brian yelled not willing to deal with this shit right now

Justin, not liking the way Brian was speaking to him, decided that he was not going to be nice. On the way here he had already decided that he was going to try to talk to Brian reasonable. Appeal to his common sense. Standing here looking at Brian who had to be drunk off his ass, Justin wondered what the hell he was thinking. Trying to appeal to Brian’s common sense, what a joke! If he wanted to get anything out of Brian, he would have to not be the patient person he usually is. This was one subject he was not going to let Brian push him around on.

*********Back in California*********

Amy sighed as she walked into her office after her last appointment of the day. Kicking off her shoes, and falling down onto her couch that was in front of her desk, she thought about her most recent patient. Justin. She doesn’t know if she is right or not, but she got this feeling that he was all alone in this pregnancy, and that made her feel awful. All doctors knew, or are just finding out that male pregnancies are much harder than females because males aren’t made for being pregnant. So, a lot of times, their bodies get really stressed out by these changes. 

She just didn’t know what to do. For some reason she was really drawn to this young man. After looking at his chart the day he first came in, she saw that his blood pressure was high already from being too stressed out from what he said was work. Sighing again, she looked up at her clock. Getting up from her couch, Amy picked up her phone, and dialed a number, listening to it ring until the answering machine came on. Waiting for the beep, she left her message.

“Hi, Justin, this is Amy Reynolds your doctor. I just wanted to remind you that you have a doctor’s appointment in 3 days, which will be a Thursday. Please call if you can not make the appointment, otherwise I will be expecting you. You already have the number, but in case u lost it.”

Rattling off the number, Amy hung up. She did not know what she could possibly do to get Justin to open up to her. Nor did she know why she was caring so much. Gathering her stuff, Amy put back on her shoes, turned off her light, locked up, and walked to her car ready to just worry about nothing except how many hours of sleep she will be allowed to have this night before she had to go back to work.

*******************  
“I can’t believe you fucking said that”

“So what, I’m just supposed to believe you? On your word? Right now, your word means fucking shit”

“I thought you trusted me”

“I used to, before I didn’t think you were a compulsive liar.”

“This is bullshit, utter bullshit. How many fucking times do I have to say this to get though your drug-addled shit for brains head. This baby” Justin said pointing to his stomach “is yours, not that trick’s”

“Oh, and how am I supposed to believe that, u might of wanted a baby so bad that you were willing to get pregnant by someone else to trap me.”

“Oh, so now I’m not only a compulsive liar, but also a user and a whore”

“Your words not mine’s”

“BUT YOUR THINKING THEM AND IMPLYING THEM” Justin yelled, not willing to rein in his anger any longer. If Brian was not pulling punches then he wouldn’t either. He thought they could settle this like the adults that they are. But he’d sadly mistaken Brian as an adult. Listening to all the things that Brian were implying about him, made him not even care about being respectable or nice anymore. Justin was going to make a point, and at this moment he did not care about getting burned all he cared was about hurting Brian as much as Brian was hurting him.

“You sit there all high and mighty like people should just bow at your feet because you have the looks, the talent and the brains. You might have the looks and the talent, but when it comes to the brain, it’s nothing but mush. Oh you’re clever and witty. But when it comes to things so common, so simple, it seems to elude. It’s like your so superior and you can’t be bothered with simple thought processes. Everything has to have some other meaning. “Justin took a quick look at Brian’s face. Taking in with utter satisfaction that Brian was no longer looking so cool and calm

“Justin! Stop right there, if you go any farther, I promise that you will regret it”

“What are you going to do huh? Throw me out huh, or say some cruel words to me hoping that I’ll take your treatment of me as some noble gesture, and not see that you weren’t being noble, but you were being a selfish, fucking bastard only worried about yourself.”

“Justin. Stop this shit right fucking now. You have no idea what the fuck you are talking about, or what you are getting into. So, before you dig yourself any deeper, just leave” Brian said. He was getting pissed, pissed that Justin dared talk to him like this. Who the fuck did he think he was anyway?

“NO! THIS IS MY TIME, MY LIFE, AND YOU WILL LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY” Justin replied starting to yell. He couldn’t believe how much all this shit was pent up inside of him. Stepping closer to Brian, Justin got close enough to he could see Brian’s face better. “Listen, and listen closely you flying fuck” Justin whispered, almost hissing. “I am not going to take this shit anymore. I come here thinking that I can take to you rationally that we could discuss this baby since we are both its parents. But you just had to start your bullshit. Oh Justin slept with someone else, so he’s automatically in the wrong.” Justin said mocking Brian slightly. 

“Justin” Brian whispered menacingly. He was no longer going to sit here and be demeaned by this little shit. 

“You listen here and you listen closely Justin.” You can come in here all you want on you high horse thinking that you did nothing wrong. That this is my entire fault! But I know that your not even 100% sure this is my baby either.” 

Watching Justin open his mouth Brian continued without giving him the chance to talk 

“SHUT UP! I KNOW U JUSTIN, I FUCKING KNOWN YOU FOR ALMOST 6 YEARS, AND I SEE THAT FUCKING FLICKER OF DOUBT. I KNOW YOU HERE THAT LITTLE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD SAYING THAT MAYBE ITS THAT TRICK’S BABY. YOU CAN TRY ALL YOU WANT TO CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT IT’S MINE. BUT YOU’RE REALLY FOOLING YOURSELF.”

“FUCK BRIAN. THIS IS YOUR FUCKING BABY”

I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE OF YOUR LIES. YOU MIGHT BE THINKING Oh, Brian’s hurt this baby is probably not his. BUT DO YOU SEE ANY FUCKING HURT IN MY EYES. NO! CAUSE I HAVE NONE. YOU WERE THE ONLY PERSON WHO WANTED A BABY IN THIS STUPID FARCE OF A RELATIONSHIP. AND THE WAY I SEE IT IS THAT YOU GOT ONE.”

THAT’S SUCH FUCKED UP LOGIC” Justin yelled not letting on that what Brian was saying was really hurting him. 

“No, it’s not. It’s the truth”

“You say you don’t want to have kids. But I see you with Gus. How you always dote on him like a caring father. I bet if Lindsay asked you for another child you would do it.” And suddenly it hit him, that it wasn’t that Brian didn’t want to have another child, he just did not want to have one with him.

“That’s it, isn’t it? You just don’t want to have a baby with me. It has nothing to do with whether it not it was yours, cause if you loved me enough you wouldn’t care. It wouldn’t matter. “

“That’s right; I don’t want to have a kid with you, because I am not ready. I’m happy being a part time dad. It suits me just fine. With you and this kid you would force me to acknowledge this kid, even though I never wanted it in the first place. YOU would be the only one taking care of it, and eventually we would brake up anyway because it’s my fault I would not acknowledge a kid I never wanted.” 

As Brian was talking he realized that this was not utter bullshit he was spewing, he really felt this way. Seeing Justin turn away from him and walk towards the kitchen, he had the utmost satisfaction because he finally proved his point. He did not want this kid, and he was never going to claim him or her. Suddenly something flew past him, almost hitting him in the head. Turning his head, Brian saw that Justin had thrown a vase at his head, and if he hadn’t dodged he would’ve gotten hit.

“THIS SHIT IS OVER! YOU HAD YOUR PIECE AND I UNDERSTAND THAT. YOU WANT THIS BABY. SO ONLY YOU WILL HAVE IT. YOU WILL NOT COME NEAR ME; YOU WILL NOT ASK ANYONE ABOUT ME, YOU WILL NOT FUCKING CONTACT ME. WE ARE OVER! THIS BABY IS NOW CONSIDERED A BASTARD IN MY EYES. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LOFT. 

Not giving Justin the time to answer, Brian walked to his bedroom, and was almost there before he heard Justin’s voice. 

“As soon as I prove this baby is half yours, I fucking want your rights gone from him or her. Not some rights but every single fucking one of them with no visiting rights”

And with that he was gone, and it was the end of there non relationship as they knew it. Continuing to his bedroom, Brian had a fleeting thought that maybe he went to far.

 

**********2 days later. California********

Justin had walked in a virtual daze for 2 days after he got the hell away from the Pitts. He couldn’t believe how things had gone with Brian. It was officially over. After all the blood, sweat, and tears they went though to get to that point in their lives and it was over in a heartbeat. Justin felt no remorse over what he threw at Brian because he deserved it. Coming up to his apartment building, Justin let himself inside and walked to the phone. He knew what he had to do.

Dialing a very familiar number and he waited till a voice came on line. 

“Hello” 

“Mom, I got something to tell you”

“Sweetie, what is it? You don’t sound very good.”

“I’ll tell you later, but for now I got something very important to tell you”

“What is it sweetie, you know u can tell me anything.”

“I’m pregnant mom”

Justin heard nothing but silence over the line for a few minutes, but when his mother’s voice came back on the line, she did not sound like he expected her to sound

“What the fuck have you done now Justin?” His mom whispered in a horrified tone.


	4. The Beginning Or The End

“What do you mean what have I done now?” Justin asked surprised at his mother’s reaction.

“Justin, I tried, I really tried.”

“Mom, what are you talking about?”

“I tried to deal with it; I tried to be t he mother that Debbie was. But going to PFLAG meetings and going to the diner wasn’t me.”

“Mom.” Justin whispered “what are you saying?”

“Is it Brian’s?” Jennifer asked ignoring Justin’s question for now.

“Mom,, forget that for now, just tell me what you are trying to say?”

“Is it Brian’s” Jennifer asked again. For some reason this seemed very important. It was a point that she couldn’t let go of.

“Mom, why is that important? Who cares who the other father is? It shouldn’t matter”

Justin was really getting freaked out. I mean why it should matter who the father was, that was not the most important thing at this moment.

“I know it shouldn’t matter but it does. Justin I can’t go on like this”

“Mom” Justin whispered dread filling him. Hearing her take a deep breath on the end of the other line, Justin waited for the shoe to drop.

“Iwantyoutonotvisitmeanymore” Jennifer said out in a rush

“What?’

“I said, don’t visit us anymore.”

“Mom…..”

“No Justin I have to say this or this will never be said” Jennifer said interrupting her son. “Your father came up to me earlier today asking to get back with me and I agreed.  
“Mom why? Why did you agree?”

“I want my social standing back Justin. I don’t want to have to try to take care of two kids. You’re all grown up now Justin, you can take care of yourself. But I still have to worry about molly; she’s now my first and foremost concern. I’m sorry, but I can not live my life looking over my shoulder waiting for Craig to take away my daughter, I just can’t. 

“Mom”

“No Justin, I can’t. So the deal is that I let you go and Craig either leaves me alone or we become a family again. I want to become a family again; I want to have my social standing again. You coming out has finally become too much to take, so I just called to say goodbye Justin, and you have a good life”

“Goodbye mom” Justin whispered. He knew this was coming because of the last few weeks of how she has been treating him, but he did not know that it was of this sort of magnitude.”

“Bye Justin, and even through you don’t want to tell me, I already figured out it was Brian’s by that same reluctance.”

And then she was gone. Not just off his phone, But out of his life.

************************2 weeks later***********************  
“I hate Brian it’s that simple. If I ever get my hands on him I will kill him”

Justin moaned as another wave of nausea overtook him driving him to the toilet once more

“That’s it” Justin moaned after the spell was over, and he spit in the toilet to get the taste out of his mouth. “I will definitely kill Brian if I ever see him again"

Pulling up from the toilet, Justin moved to the sink to wash out his mouth. After his conversion with his mom 2 weeks ago, he thought everything was ok, so his mom hated him, Brian hated him, he was alone in this pregnancy and his life was basically sucking right now, but he knew he would be able to get through it.

But ever since the morning sickness started this week he wished he had Brian there to bitch at for making him go through this more than two times a day. It was a bitch and a major pain in his ass. He couldn’t even eat his favorite foods anymore because they made his want to puke.

“Oh yeah, Brian was definitely going to get it” Justin said before he had to run over to the toilet for the third time this morning.  
**************  
The loud music thumped through his eyes as soon as he walked into Babylon. For the last two weeks Brian have been working himself to the bone, and he finally decided that he was going to go to Babylon.

But if he was really honest with himself, work was not the reason he did not want to show up at Babylon the last two weeks, it was Justin.

Brian has been thinking about this for weeks, why he did what he did to Justin. Oh no, he wasn’t ready to admit he was wrong, or really actually say he was sorry, cause he wasn’t. He was just trying to figure out why he reacted as strongly as he did, and maybe figured out the answer. The reason for the maybe was because he was drunk at the time and had no idea how lucid his thought processes was at that moment. 

The reason Brian figured out that he reacted that badly was because he has seen his family (if you can actually call them that), Mel and Lindz, and even Justin’s family break up over a kid. 

AS much as Brian loved, yes loved, Justin, he wasn’t willing to be happy only to have it taken away from him because he didn’t want to have a kid right now. So in his mind, it was totally understandable that he let him go first. Plus, he wasn’t even sure the kid was his.

Being brought out his thoughts by the music changing, Brian decided to stop thinking about Justin, I mean what could he do, he still did not want to have another kid at this moment, he was happy with Gus, and that’s all he needed.

Searching the floor for his first trick of the night, Brian found him in a red head. Making eye contact and cocking his head to towards the backroom, Brian put all thoughts of Justin and the baby out of his head.

*********Thursday afternoon**********

“Justin, how are you doing today” Amy asked as soon as he walked into the door.

“Fine, except for the fucking morning sickness, that keeps plaguing me”

Laughing Amy replied to his statement. “Well, that’s going to keep going on for a few months, the best advice I can offer you on semi-controlling it is to drink Ginger ale, and eat saltines.”

Nodding his head to show he understood. Justin sat on the cold metal table waiting for his examination to start.

“Ok Justin” Amy said to him, just change into this gown, then lay on the table and we can began the examination.

********30 minutes later**********

“Ok Justin you and the baby are doing just fine. The only thing I am worried about is how high your stress levels are getting. Was there anything that happened in your life recently that caused your stress levels to rise?” Amy was really worried about his stress levels; they were getting to be high.

‘Ummm, nothing I can think of recently that’s making my stress high. I did just start a new job recently and moved from my friends and family in Pittsburgh, So, I guess it is just all this adjustment going out that stresses me out” Justin said only partially lying to the good doctor

“Ok” Amy replied, not really believing that story because of the haunted look in his eye. “Don’t get too stressed out over this new job, remember you have to take care of this baby as well as yourself, this little person is counting on you to survive.”

“Don’t worry; I’ll take better care of myself, and my baby.” Justin replied rubbing his stomach.

“Good, now will you like to know what you can expect of the upcoming months?”

“Sure, maybe just for the next few months”

“OK, for the next few months you can definitely expect more morning sickness, you can also expect some hormones changes, which means mood swings, and you can also expect to start eating more than you already do.’

Nodding his head to show that he understood it all, Justin went behind the curtain to change back into his street clothes. When he came back out, he gathered the rest of his stuff.

“Justin” Amy called before he could walk out the door. “Your next appointment is in three weeks. Same time?”

“Yeah, same time” Justin replied then walked out of the office.  
*************************  
Justin had just walked into the door when his house phone began to go off.

“Hello” Justin replied breathless from running to get the phone.

“Sunshine” came Deb’s loud voice from over the line. “How are you baby?”

“Good and you?”

“I’m just fine, but I wanted to know if you had to work next week?”

Justin should’ve seen it coming, it was so obvious, but it was the shock of Deb calling that he swears was the reason why he missed it.

“Yes I have work, but not on Friday, Saturday or Sunday of this week”  
“Good! Then you’re coming to dinner on Sunday.”

“Deb……”

“No sunshine, I won’t take no for an answer I haven’t seen you in a while, everyone’s going to be there, so are you coming?”

“Yes Deb, I’m coming”

“Good see you then’

Hanging up with Deb, Justin wondered what he got himself into now.


	5. The Beginning Or The End

This chapter is dedicated to LaLa. May you live long enough to fuck Gale. Chair Sex! “I’ll lather you up; give you a shave, a paddling while straddling my little slave. Down on your knees it’s pointless to fight, save your strength it’s going to be a lengthy night”  
\- Mary Lane, Reefer Madness

* * *

*****5 hours later*****

Justin heard his phone ring once again but didn’t want to answer it; he knew only bad things would come out of answering his phone. Look at what happened last time he picked it up. He got tricked into going back to Pittsburgh once again, but at least this time it was just for dinner and catching up, and nothing else. 

The only bad thing was that he did not know if the others knew of his pregnancy or not. He was 50/50 on Deb knowing because on one hand she could know and would be waiting for him to tell her, or on the other hand she could not know because otherwise she would be loud about it. He was just so always confused about the way that lady was always handling things. 

Hearing his phone start to ring again, he decided to just let it ring, and let the answering machine pick it up. When the phone rang its last ring, Justin heard his answering machine come on, and waited for the person’s voice to come on line.

When no one answered for a while, Justin was about to pick up the phone, until a voice came on over the speaker.

“Call me”

**********  
“What do you mean you invited him?” Brian questioned Deb that night after he found out by Michael earlier that day that Deb invited Justin to the dinner on Sunday.

“Did I stutter?” Deb asked not knowing that Brian already knew that Justin was invited. “Besides, you should be happier than the rest of us. I know you have not seen Justin in a month”

Brian honestly did not know what to say to that, he knew he should tell them, all of them that he and Justin were not dating anymore, Hell! They weren’t even talking to each other anymore. Looking at Debbie, Brian said the first thing out of his head.

“I’ll have my usual” Looking at his friends sitting in the booth with him, he realized that he did not want to really hang out with them tonight. He just wanted to go home, eat, and try to figure out what the fuck to do about this situation. Seeing Debbie write down his order and about to leave, he knew he had to tell her now, or else.

“Deb, make that to go.” 

Nodding her head to show that she understood, Deb walked to the window to place their order in.

*Chicken!* Brian’s own voice yelled at him from inside his head.

“Brian” Michael whined when he saw Brian had zoned out. “Why are you leaving, you just got here?”

“Look! I’m just tired, and I had a long week. I don’t want to go out and party tonight” Brian replied not really in the mood for Michael’s whining tonight.

“Geez fine, you didn’t have to yell at me” Michael said as he sat back in his seat pouting.

“Stop pouting, I didn’t even yell at you” Brian said rolling his eyes at Michael’s clingy nature.

The rest of the time was spent listening to the guys’ endless chatter and them trying to get him to add in his opinion every now and then. 

Brian was just about to get up and ask Deb where his fucking food was until he heard his name being called.

“Brian, your food’s ready” 

“Finally” Brian said throwing up his arms and getting up from the booth. “ well boys, I could say its been fun, but then I’d be lying, I also could say I’d miss you and talk to you later, but then I’d be working when I don’t want to be, so I’m just going to leave”

The only response he got was the glare from Emmett which showed he was the only one who understood what the fuck he just said, and took it for what it was…. an insult. Rolling his eyes at the dumb looks Michael and Ted were sporting, he walked up to the counter picked up his food and walked to the door. He was almost out until he heard Deb’s voice.

“You better come on Sunday asshole. I’d hate to tell Justin that you don’t want to see him or talk to him. Then start telling your all your shit to him.”

Brian just walked out the door, without gracing Deb with a reply. 

Deb watched him go, nodding to herself knowing that Brian was going to be coming. Because if it was one thing he hated, it was people being in his business when he did not want them to be. Hearing the bell ring, Deb turned to the cook.

“Keep your pants on, I’m coming!” 

**********

Brian sighed as soon as he walked into his door. Yes, he could have just ordered out, but he needed to ask Deb about Justin. Setting his food on the counter, Brian stopped by his answering machine to check if he had any messages. Seeing that he didn’t, he continued to walk towards his bedroom feeling oddly depressed for some reason. He knew he had no reason to answer his call but he kind of hoped he would of, just if nothing but out of pure curiosity.

***** Saturday, one day before the dinner****

“Man! What a bitch of a day at work, thank god I don’t have to go back for a while” 

Justin plopped himself down on the couch. He knew in a few months he wouldn’t be able to do that anymore so he took advantage of it as much as he could. Looking at the folder he threw on the floor when he first entered his apartment, he sighed wishing he didn’t have work at all this weekend.

He wasn’t even supposed to go this morning, but they called him in, wanting him to fix some mistakes this fucking dumb idiot did without asking the boss first. It took all fucking day. Justin didn’t even want to think about how hard it was to work when you had to puke every few hours.

Getting comfortable on the couch, Justin closed his eyes.

*I’m just going to close my eyes for a little while* He told himself. He was asleep within minutes.

***********  
*what the fuck* Justin sat up suddenly, feeling really disoriented. As soon as he got some of his bearings, he realized that his phone was ringing. Glancing at the clock he realized he must have fallen asleep, and it looked like he was sleep for a while.

He was about to yell out he was coming before he realized that the person was not going to hear him.

“Hello” Justin said picking up the phone, still feeling groggy.

“You are not that busy that you cannot call me back”

Justin’s sleepy mood vanished instant when he heard the voice on the other line.

“What the fuck are you calling me for? “

“I needed to talk to you.”

“We talked before and it didn’t end well. Hell! None of our conversions end well anymore”

“Look, I know our past conversion didn’t end well, but I do need to talk to you.”

Justin sighed knowing he was going to keep calling until he gave him the time of day.

“Talk fast”

*********  
Brian sighed over the line, glad Justin has given him the time to speak to him. He couldn’t even believe he was doing this, but the alternative was not looking better.

“Well speak” He heard Justin’s voice over the other line. He knew that tone of voice, it was the tone when Justin was annoyed and he really didn’t want to talk to him.

“I know Deb has invited you to dinner on Sunday.”

“Yeah, and?”

“And we should talk about it.”

“What is there possibly anything for us to talk about?” Justin said really wishing Brian would get on with it.

“Look ok, we are no longer together and I think we should keep this between us, no one else should know”

“What why?” Justin asked baffled

“Do you really want them on us about the breakup, plus the reason for the breakup in itself will cause enough commotion.”

Hearing nothing on the other line for a while, Brian was about to give up that Justin was going to agree to this, and started to run points through his head that would make Justin agree to what he was saying.

“Your right”

“What. What?”

“I said your right. They will just keep bothering us about why we broke up and will keep trying to push us together. And when we don’t want to get together, we’ll either have to tell them the truth or a lie, and I’d just rather have them leave us alone.” 

“Wow” 

“Aren’t you going to say more than that?” Justin asked secretly glad that he was able to stump Brian. 

“I didn’t expect you to actually agree with me so quickly. I had this whole thing planned out to tell you the reasons why we should do this, and you just agree with me. I’m just so……”

“So amazed, happy, joyous, confused, sad?”

“So shocked”

Laughing Justin replied “If I was going to get this reaction out of you by agreeing with you, I have to remember to do it more often. I like you speechless, it’s quieter.”

“Ha fucking Ha” Brian replied sounding annoyed but actually happy with the banter.

“Brian, I have to go” Justin said after things were quiet on both sides after a while, I mean once the play was over, what do you say to a man who caused you so much mental anguish about a month ago. 

“Yeah, Yeah, I have to go to. Remember Justin, we have to pretend we are still in love with each other when we’re at the dinner”

“Yeah, I know. Later”

“Later”

*******Sunday********  
*well, here goes nothing * Justin said to himself. 

The plan him and Brian agreed with earlier this morning, was that Justin would show up after dinner had started to make it seem like Justin had been visiting his mom. Brian would already be there and waiting for Justin. When everyone sees Justin, Debbie would for sure ask when did he get in, and Brian would reply. It was all planned. But of course they both knew not all things go according to plan, but they semi improvised for that too.

*knock knock knock*

“Coming” He heard Deb yell

Justin took a deep breathe and let it out just as Deb opened the door

“SUNSHINE” he heard Deb squeal before he was engulfed into a hug and his vision was filled with many vibrant colors.

“Deb, let go of the poor boy before he suffocates” Emmett said before taking Deb’s place and hugging Justin.

“Baby, I missed you. How is sunny California? Did you sleep with anyone famous? Are you having a good time? Why didn’t you call us and tell us you were coming? This was a surprise up until yesterday. How long are you staying?” 

Emmett’s question just kept on coming until Brian decided it was time to step in and play his part.

“Geez Emmett, let the boy get in the door first before you ask him all these questions.” Brian said before putting his arm across Justin’s shoulders and leading him into the kitchen.

“Justin!” Everybody screamed when he finally came into the kitchen. He was passed around and hugged by everyone, even hunter and Michael. 

When he was finally seated, that’s when all the questions started. 

“Baby, how come you weren’t here sooner than this? I know your plane must have gotten in earlier.” Emmett asked. 

“I was busy” Justin replied, than glanced at Brian like he was supposed to.

Emmett catching the glance was the first to ask 

“You were busy huh? Did it have something to do with our very own Mr. Kinney over there looking like he just ate a canary? Hmmm”

“I never tell and fuck.” Brian replied like he was supposed to and added in a little tongue and cheek smirk too.

A chorus of snorts could be heard around the table at that statement.

***********  
The rest of dinner was spent catching up with Justin about how he was doing in California, and what the rest of the gang was doing. By time dinner was through Justin was feeling sick from the different smells.

*damn morning sickness* he said to himself

“Justin baby, what’s the matter? You look a little green.” Deb asked while watching Justin get paler as the dinner progressed. 

“I think I need to go to the bathroom.”

With that, Justin got up and ran from the room to the bathroom.

“Brian, what’s the matter with Justin?” Lindsay asked as she watched Justin run from the room.

“He has the stomach flu. He knew he wouldn’t be able to eat much but wanted to come here to see all of you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go check on him” Brian said to them but really knew Justin was suffering from what he knew to be morning sickness.

Knocking on the bathroom door, Brian waited until Justin said come in before coming in. 

“Hey” he said rubbing his hand down Justin’s back.

“Don’t fucking touch me” Justin snarled before he felt the need to puke again

“Hey, I’m just playing my part.”   
“Well, play your part by standing by the door and looking dumb.

******* 1 hour later*******

“I will Deb. I’ll try to come back as much as I can. But I’m not promising anything”

“I understand baby. Have a safe flight”

After saying goodnight to everyone, Justin and Brian left the house closing the door behind him.

“Well, your plan worked” Justin said not knowing what to say after acting lovey dovey with this man all evening.

“Yeah it did. Good acting by the way.”

“Thanks”

Before Brian knew what he was doing he leaned towards Justin.

* * *

Also, my Live Journal is up. This is the link. http://www.livejournal.com/users/flaminvixen/  
All my fiction will be updated on my LJ first then posted here.


	6. The Beginning Or The End

Hmm, I actually don’t know what to say in my author’s note this chapter. LOL. Thanxs to Mary, and Tay, and *sigh* If I must Lala, and to my newest friends the Twins. Also must not forget Mar, she’ll hurt me with her pogo stick and bow/arrow kit. One last thing, the song below was made by the group 911. Enjoy.

* * *

Justin didn’t know what had happened. One moment he was standing there with Brian on Deb’s porch ready to leave this place, and the next thing he knew, Brian was leaning towards him. 

Justin moved out of the way, not letting Brian come closer to him. 

“You ready to go? It’s fucking cold out here.” Justin said not wanting to make a scene out on the porch. It would make all their hard work pretending they were together for shit.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” Brian knew Justin was trying not to make a scene. But by the way his hands were twitching at his sides he knew that he was not going to get away with that stunt he just tried to pull.

He didn’t know what overcame him. He knew him and Justin weren’t together anymore. But the familiarity that they had going tonight had him feeling very confused. I mean he knew, well knows Justin isn’t going to take him back. During the whole dinner he was tense. To people who didn’t know him well, would say he was relaxed, but to Brian he knew Justin just wanted this night to be over with.

Following Justin to the corvette, He hopped into the driver’s seat waited for Justin to get in then drove off with a squeal of tires.

 

“So, where are you going?” Brian asked not being able to take the silence that had settled over the car since they first entered. When no answer was forthcoming, Brian tried again. “Justin. Where are you going Hotel, Airport, hell, your parent’s house?”

“I’m going to the airport. My flight takes off in about 2 ½ hours.” Justin replied in a voice to Brian sounded to be devoid of all emotion.

“Should you be…….” 

“Look don’t even pretend to look out after my well being now. Just because we had to play the part of a so happy crappy in love relationship, doesn’t mean the shit we said to each other changes. We still said hurtful things, and just because we played a game of pretend does not mean that suddenly we have a chance. We HAVE no chance.

“Look, Justin…”

“Why did you try to kiss me?”

“What!”

“You heard me, you’re not that old. Why did u try to kiss me?”

Ignoring the jab at his age, Brian thought of a response

“I didn’t try to kiss you. I was still playing a part. Who knew who was watching us from the porch? Besides it wasn’t like I was going to make out with you. I was just going to give you a quick peck on the cheek.”

Seeing the turn off for the airport, Brian quickly changed lanes and turned into the airport’s parking lot. Quickly finding a space, Brian turned off the ignition. Once the car was off, Justin unhooked his seat belt and got out of the car. Sighing, Brian got out after him. It looked like they would be having this fight in an airport’s parking lot. 

“Oh it was just a peck. Just means a big, huge fucking nothing” Justin replied. “I was just going to go to Woody’s, I was just on my way to Babylon, I was just going to give Michael a hand job, I was just checking to see if the fucking baby was mine. Just is another word to justify your excuses, and it’s not going to fly with me.”

By time Justin had finished yelling he was close to Brian’s face. Breathing hard through his mouth, he felt a little dizzy. He knew he was not supposed to get worked up; it would cause him and his baby trouble in the long run. Stepping back from Brian, Justin had a moment to breathe before the world tilted for him.

‘Whoa, are you ok?” Brian asked after he caught Justin in his arms. He saw when Justin wavered when he was talking, and moved into a position to catch him if he fell. 

“I’m fine” Justin said pushing out of Brian’s arms. Justin wavered for a few seconds, shaking off the dizzy spell. Still feeling kind of dizzy, Justin moved closer to Brian’s car, hoping not to be too obvious, so he could hold on to the back fender.

“Justin come on, just let me walk you to the gate, in fact don’t even go back to California, let me take you back to a hotel.” Brian said moving a little closer to Justin.

“No! I don’t want your help.” Justin said, the dizziness coming back now that he yelling again. “I…. I… just want you to leave me alone.” Justin put his hand up to his head hoping to chase away some of the dizziness. “I want you to not call me, I want you not involve me in your plans, I want you to not try to kiss me, but most of all, I, I……”

Before Justin could finish, he passed out cold. Only Brian’s quick reflexes made him catch Justin before he fell.

“Justin! Justin” Brian yelled shaking the young man. “Shit! Come on wake up.”

Picking up Justin, Brian quickly put him in the car, buckled him up, got in, and sped off towards the hospital.

 

Brian sat in the waiting room waiting on any news from the doctor to tell him how Justin was. Sighing and knowing he couldn’t put it off any longer, he got up and walked to the end of the hall and pulled out his cell phone.

Hearing it ring a couple times, he was about to give up hope.

“Come on, Come on” He whispered into the phone. Hearing the answering machine, Brian was about to hang up when he heard a breathless tone on the other end of the line

“Hello?” The voice asked.

“Jennifer? It’s Brian Kinney”

“Look, if you called to tell me what an awful mother I am to do that to Justin you can just save your breath, I don’t want to hear it.” Jennifer was in a snitch at the moment, she was trying to plan a party and have everything all set up in a few hours when the phone started to ring.

Sighing she thought if she ignored it, the person was going to go away. Apparently she was wrong. So when the answering machine started to come on she decided to pick it up, so they wouldn’t call back. The voice at the end of the other line was not one she wanted to hear at the moment.

“Jennifer, I wasn’t…….”

“Wasn’t what? Calling to tell me I’m awful that I left my pregnant son by himself? That I didn’t have any reason to do that? Well let me tell you something Mr. Kinney. That was the last straw his pregnancy by you. I tried to be the perfect mother, the mother who always supported their children in whatever they did.”

Brian couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Jennifer renounced her position as Justin’s mother. What ever happened to I’ll love you with whatever you decide. He thought his family was a piece of fucking shit, well the Taylor’s was right up there next to his. He was brought back to the conversion when Jennifer started to talk again after she had taken a breath. It sounded like she had been saving this up for a while.

“….But I have another child. Justin is not my only kid, and when Craig offered me everything back, I couldn’t resist.”

*Craig. Of course who else could it be? But it doesn’t get you off the hook you fucking bitch* Brian to himself

“I had Molly to think about, Justin was grown, but Molly isn’t. I have to think about her future. So I took his deal. He would leave me alone about getting full custody of Molly in exchange for me giving up Justin. I had to do it. “

“You didn’t have to do anything. You wanted to do it, you just didn’t have a way to do it without hurting Justin’s feelings too much. Craig is an excuse to take away the guilt your feeling that you didn’t want to part of Justin’s world anymore.”

Brian couldn’t believe the shit that was spewing out this woman’s mouth. But why the fuck did Justin tell him that he actually did go to visit his mother, when it was obvious that his mother didn’t want him anymore.

“Look, I have to go, I have a party I’m getting ready for. You may think I’m in the wrong, but I wanted my original life back. Yes Justin was apart of that life, but he has his own life. It’s time I focus on getting my life in order, my marriage repaired and focus more on Molly. Yes, it’s also true that Craig gave me the excuse to get out of the gay world that Justin was living in, but you can’t fault me for trying to be apart of it in the first place.”

“Yes, Yes I can fault you for trying. You strung Justin along all these years showing him that you can handle everything, that you were this superwoman. But when things got a little too much for you, you quit. You don’t even feel any remorse that you just dumped you pregnant son when he probably needed you the most. My mother everyday told me I wasn’t wanted by the way she acted towards me. But at least I knew how she felt, she never lied about it. I never thought I’d say this, but your worst than my own mother.”

With that Brian snapped his phone close on Jennifer’s voice, who was trying to explain her motives to him again. *fucking cunt*

“Excuse me, Mr. Kinney?” A young nurse asked him when she was within talking distance without yelling out.

“Yes? How can I help you?” 

“Justin is awake now if you want to see him” The young nurse said and instantly saw relief cross his face.

“Thank you. Is the doctor still there?”

“Yes, he’s waiting for you.”

“Thank you, Thank you so much. Which room is he in?”

“403”

Telling her thank you once again, Brian headed towards the double doors and down the hallway to room 403. Glancing into the room, the first thing he saw was Justin awake and talking to the doctor.

“Mr. Kinney, how are you?” The doctor asked when he saw the man step into the room.

“I’m good. What about Justin?”

“First off, he shouldn’t travel tonight. He told me that you guys were having a discussion and he started to feel dizzy?” The doctor asked wanting to get the facts right first. Seeing Brian nod the doctor continued “well whatever you guys were discussing, I suggest you shy away from that topic for the duration of this pregnancy. His blood pressure was abnormally high. When you’re in a male pregnancy or any pregnancy, you should not let your blood pressure get that high, that was why he was getting dizzy. It was a sign that he should calm down”

“You’re telling the wrong person doc. We used to be partners, but not anymore. He is not spending the night with me, so you should be telling me. We don’t even live in the same state anymore, let alone in the same house”

Feeling flustered, the doctor turned to the young man lying in the bed, but was still turned a little towards Brian. He knew the man still cared about this young man; he could see it in his eyes. So he made sure that he was included in the discussion too.

Brian seeing what he did gave a barely noticeable nod in the doctor’s direction.

“Sorry about that. Now, as I was saying you should’ve calmed down. I called your doctor in LA and as soon as you get back she wants to check you out. I didn’t give you a full check out, just what was needed to make sure you were ok. I’d advise against going on any flight home tonight, and just check into a hotel and leave tomorrow. Your body is going to need a little time to heal before you can go flying half way across the states.”

Justin nodded showing that he understood what the doctor was saying.

“I’m going to let you check out, provided you go rest once you find a place to stay for the night”

Justin nodded promising the doctor he would rest and not get on any flights tonight. 

“Good, have a nice rest of the night boys”

Once the doctor was out of the room, Justin got up, picked up his clothes, and went to change in the bathroom. Once he was dresses and ready to go, Justin and Brian walked out the hospital room. 

“Justin…..”

“Don’t Brian, just don’t”

For once, Brian listened to what Justin said.

 

Once Justin had signed out the hospital, he ignored Brian’s offer to take him to a hotel, and instead hailed down a cab. Justin knew he was being a total bitch to Brian, but it was his way of not getting sucked into that man’s life again. He was done with that man. This was the last time he was ever coming back here. He had left notes for everyone, including Brian. His life in the Pitts was over, and his life in California was just now beginning, for real this time.

The next morning Justin was gone, on a plane back to California. Brian had known which flight he was on because he called the airlines. When he woke up this morning and saw the letter he knew what it was, he didn’t even have to open it. He knew that Justin didn’t want to see him anymore, at all. So he honored his wishes. No matter how much he didn’t want to believe it, He knew it was true. Brian and Justin, the hottest couple there was, envy of all gay couples, sex on legs, whatever you wanted to call them, was officially over.

 

Don’t do go changing, rearranging  
Don’t go changing rearranging, hold on to a love sensation  
If you ever go away, that will be my darkest day

We’ve been drawn together by love’s…chemistry  
I was born to be by your side sure as the river meets the sea  
River meets the sea  
We’ve only known each other for a little while  
But you’re my destiny  
I will move all heaven and earth  
Just to set you free


	7. The Beginning Or The End

AN: Hey everyone, this is my new name. TheDevil2Extreme on bjfic.net. And also I’m sorry for waiting so long to post and write. I hope that this chapter was well worth the wait. Thanxs to Sid for basically telling to get off my ass and write and to Sara for telling me to finish this awesome story. Enjoy everyone.

* * *

### 4 Months Later###

Brian waited at the door while Lindsay went to get his son Gus. Since Justin had been gone, he had succeeded in throwing his mind and thoughts into his son and his work. During all of this, he realized that he had another child he did not spend as much time as he could with.

When he woke up this morning, he had the thought that he should spend more time with his kid. This whole thing with Justin and the baby and all the fighting going on made him realize what he already had. 

This was what he wanted. The option whether or not he wanted his kid for the day, or whatever other time frame he wanted. He wanted the freedom to return the kid to his or her other parents at the end of the day or week or month. 

It wasn’t just that he thought kids shouldn’t be introduced in an already troubled relationship. But he just didn’t want to be a full time father. He wanted the freedom of not having the everydayness of a child. The freedom to go to Babylon dancing and drinking and come home drunk, without worrying about traumatizing his kid or doing something wrong.

He couldn’t have that with a full time kid. So it was Brian’s own selfishness and his own greed of his lifestyle that makes him not want to give it up. Not want a baby in his life that was his sole responsibility.

“Here he is” Lindsay says with Gus walking behind her.

“Daddy” Gus says giggling and making those last few steps, running into his dad’s arm.

“Ok, so Brian can you have him back in five hours, just in time for dinner?” Lindsay asks as she hands Brian Gus’s bag packed with toys and juice.

“Yeah, I can” Brian replied picking up Gus and carrying him to the car.

“Be careful” Lindsay says, first kissing Gus, then Brian on their cheek

“We will”

Buckling up Gus in his car seat, and making sure he was secure. Brian hopped into the driver seat and headed to the park.

‘This is what I’m made for’ Brian thought to himself ‘A part time dad who could come and go as he pleases.

“This is all I am, and this is all I want to be” Brian whispered to himself.  
###~~~###

“Damn it” Justin exclaimed as he hit the keyboard.

For the last 3 weeks, he had decided that he wanted to go back to school. His job was nice and all but he had gotten the job on his artistic value rather than his experience, and he hated it. Justin hated that they didn’t even care about his schooling and more about what he could do for their art department.

Apparently, Justin didn’t really think he wanted to find a school since all the colleges he looked at, he found something wrong with it.

“Man, what’s wrong with me? I want to go to college. I want to finish my degree. Why do I keep finding reasons not to go?” Sighing, Justin sat back in the chair and rubbed his fingers over his stomach feeling the slight bump there.

This was probably the real reason he didn’t want to go. His baby. It wasn’t like he was ashamed of his kid; it was just that he didn’t want people to look at him weird, or girls cooing over his stomach.

The morning sickness was kind of gone, kind of meaning that he wasn’t throwing up as much during the day. But when the morning sickness abated slightly, then came a whole slew of other problems. 

He was starting to crave the oddest food creations, and he hated his steady weight gain. Justin looked down mournfully at his stomach knowing he was only going to get bigger.

Sighing, Justin stretched out all the kinks in his back and shoulders, saved his college work, and logged off the computer.

###~~~###

Brian sighed as he walked through the park with Gus in tow. But once Gus saw the swings, He ran straight to them and Brian went to the bench to watch him.

Chasing off many women and men trying to ask him out, Brian focused solely on his son. He was lost in his thoughts until Gus came running up to him.

“Daddy, pway?” Gus asked when he was close enough.

Getting up, Brian grabbed Gus’s hand and led him to the swings to push him for a few minutes.

Time passed filled with visiting the dinner for a snack, and going to an amusement park until it was time to go back home. All during the time spent at the diner, Gus was looking for his Jus’n, when he wasn’t here he started crying calling out Justin’s name. 

While driving on the way back to the Lindsay’s, Brian voiced what was on his mind all day.

“You know what Gus, I miss Justin too”

###~~~###

“Hi Amy. How are you doing today?” Justin asked. Today wasn’t a day for his checkup, but during the months since his trip back to California, he had gotten to know the person behind the doctor, and he was never more grateful for it.

It was hard when he came back, having no one to help him. After he got checked out because of his episode in California, Amy had given him a book on Male Pregnancy, since he keeps neglecting on getting one himself. When he had certain questions about things, he had come to Amy and a tentative friendship had been struck up. 

Since months have passed since he talked to anyone and he needed a friend more than anything, the tentative friendship they had, has blown into a full blown one.

Everyday or whenever Amy worked, Justin would stop by and have lunch with her. And Amy would do the same for him when he was at work. They talked about different things that was going on in their lives and about how the baby was coming along. 

Justin had already decided and was waiting for the right time to tell Amy, he wanted her to be his kid or kids’ godmother. He also decided he would probably tell her after the baby was born.

“I’m good Justin, and how’s my littlest patient doing?” Amy asked as she grabbed her purse and patted Justin’s stomach on the way out of the door.

“Driving me crazy” Justin laughed as he followed her out the door.

“You think this is crazy, wait till you get further along. You may be complaining of peeing too much now, but just you wait” Laughing at the thought, Justin and Amy got into her car and drove off.

###~~~###

“Brian, call on line one” Cynthia said through the intercom

“Who is it?” Brian asked not ready for a conversion right now. 

After Brian took Gus home, he went straight to his loft and was going to tell Justin the truth about why he didn’t want kids. After he had gotten his answering machine and voicemail for the 20th time, Brian hung up the phone. Either Justin was ignoring him or he really was extremely busy.

Picking up the phone before Cynthia could tell him who was on the phone, he beat down the happiness at the thought of it being Justin

“Hello?” He asked into the phone

“Yes, is this Brian Kinney?” the voice asked  
‘Ok, not Justin’ Brian thought to himself

“Yes, this is” Brian answered

“Umm, I think we have a mutual friend, if you can say in common”

“Who?” Brian asked

“Justin Taylor”

“WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?”

“I guess you can call me his baby’s father”

Before Brian had a chance to say anything, the voice continued to talk

“You don’t know how great it was to fuck him and to get into his sweet tight ass. To get him drunk enough that he wouldn’t remember what the fuck he did at neither the party nor that night in bed. You want me to let you on to a little secret Brian? I didn’t fuck him. I didn’t even fucking touch him, but this was too good of a chance to pass up. The gorgeous Justin Taylor was meant to be mine, but for the short while he was in California, he kept turning me down. ME! So, I used the only thing to get him…by telling him we slept together. It couldn’t be more perfect then when he came and told me he was pregnant.” The voice on the phone laughed. “But the best part is that Justin will be mine, and you will have nothing. It couldn’t have worked out more perfectly. I mean, why would he believe you now? You have been nothing but an ass. Have a nice day Mr. Kinney, cause I have won.”

The voice on the other line hung up and there was nothing but a dial tone in his ear before he hung up the phone too.

“SHIT!” Brian exclaimed then proceeded to throw his phone across the room. ‘That damn person was right’ Brian thought, ‘I dug my own grave, and there is nothing I can do about it’

Hearing his phone ring, Brian wasn’t’ even conscious of when he took out his phone, when he said hi to Lindsay, or when he agreed to have another baby with Lindsay.


	8. The Beginning Or The End

OK, what you all have been wondering is here! And also I realized that I write short chapters. Well short by my standards meaning less than 2,000 words, so I’m going to try to write longer chapters. I want to say thank you and a HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY to Rory. I would like to dedicate this to her. And also I’m giving a shout out to Carrie just because. LOL. Here’s your mention Carrie. Also, thanxs to her for pointing out my little mistakes and telling me about them. Enjoy this chapter.

* * *

Thomas whistled as he walked down the street. He remembered the day that Justin came and told him he was pregnant and that the baby could be his. Thomas almost jumped for joy that day. That was his chance to be with Justin, his chance to have a family with Justin, but Brian Kinney ruined it. 

All Justin could talk about that day was how happy Brian was going to be when he told him that he was pregnant. When he came into the office a few days later looking like death warmed over him, he knew something was wrong.

As hard as he tried Thomas could not forget when Justin yelled at him later that day when he asked him out on a date. Thomas remembered the exact words like it was just yesterday.

###Flashback###

The day started off like any other day. He got up that morning, showered, dressed, brushed his teeth, and got ready for work. 

Thomas was feeling happy that morning. After all Justin had told him about Brian Kinney, he knew that Justin would come crying home into his arms the day he got back. Oh how wrong he was. When Justin got back that day he was in a hell of a bad mood. He wouldn't even talk to Thomas that afternoon.

You would think that would have been a sign to Thomas that he would need to steer clear, but Thomas is not always aware of the signs that are so blatantly obvious to other people. 

“Justin?” Thomas asked when he saw Justin walk into the office that afternoon.

“What!” Justin barked out.

“I just wanted to ask, if you wanted to go out later after work?” Thomas asked oblivious to the storm brewing in Justin’s eyes.

“Do I want to go out? DO I WANT TO GO OUT?! Are you fucking insane! I never want to go out with you. You fucking disgust me. The only reason that I ever slept with you was because I was fucking drunk off my ass that night. I only think or have only thought of you as a friend. A FRIEND! If you don’t stop asking me out and basically stalking me, I was slap a fucking restraining order on you.” Justin hollered out at him. Justin really didn’t mean to actually talk to him that way, but he was aggravated at Brian and was taking out on his kind of friend.

Thomas had walked out the office that day with his head held high. The words did not really register in his head, because he knew Justin was only yelling at him and saying all this stuff about him because he was probably annoyed at Brian.

It took a total of one week before he realized that Justin meant what he said. The day after Justin yelled at him, he came to his office once again to try to ask him out. The next day, Justin had shown him a restraining order saying he would sign it if he ever got near him again outside of the workplace.

Thomas was instantly angry. As far as Justin knew, the baby might have been his and he was talking about a restraining order! After that, Thomas had left Justin alone besides for the silently stalking part. Justin would never know about that, Justin would never catch him.

##end flashback##

Thomas watched as Justin got into the car with his friend the good doctor and then left to go to his house. As walked to his house, he thought back to yesterday and how he got Kinney right where he wanted him. He knew Brian wanted more information on how he got Justin to believe he might be the other father when he did not even have sex with him. But he would never find out. This was one of his greatest accomplishments, and he was never giving away his secret.

Thomas laughed out loud, scaring some of the people who were walking on the same side of the street with him. It had been so easy. 

Justin was depressed that Brian had gone back to the Pitts. Thomas had asked Justin if he wanted to go out to drink, but Justin turned him down. So he followed him. Justin did eventually go out to drink that night and he watched in the shadows as guys came and went. A lot of the guys were buying him drinks, so he waited. He waited till Justin had gotten drunk enough he was looking for a guy to fuck for the night. That was when he stepped up.

Thomas had looked into Justin’s eyes to see if he had recognized him. When it was clear that he did not, he whispered in his ear if he wanted to come home with him. Once Justin had said yes, he took him home. Before he could even do anything Justin had passed out. At first, Thomas was depressed and pissed, this would ruin all his plans he so carefully crafted. But then he got another idea.

When Justin had awoken the next morning in his all of his hangover glory, Thomas had told him they had slept together. Justin was instantly on alert and he had stared at Thomas in shock. The question had never come up onto why Justin was not feeling sore and for that he was grateful he had dodged that bullet. He has later also found out when he was listening in on Justin’ s phone call one morning, that he was feeling sore that morning he woke up and it was all that he could do but jump for joy. He would have to send Kinney a little thank you for fucking his Justin so well, the two nights before. 

Thomas had told Justin that the condom had broke and he had told him after it had broken, but Justin was so drunk that night, he had picked up the condom and threw it in the toilet and flushed it. Thomas could not believe his luck! All was going perfectly. 

When Justin decided for them to get tested he was fine. He didn’t have to fake going to the doctor’s because he knew he was going to be fine. But when they told Justin they had to retest him just to check something, he had thought Justin was sick. Imagine his surprise a few days later when Justin called and told him that he was pregnant and the baby could be his. He was fucking ecstatic. When he had thought of the plan, he could not have foreseen it would turn out so good. 

He was going to be a father! Now he wasn’t as naive as to believe Kinney would not be a problem to him. No, he knew he had to do something to get rid of Kinney. It was only just recently when was listening in on a conversion between Justin and his doctor friend when he found out that Justin and Kinney had broken up. He laughed long and hard over that and then went out to celebrate at a club.

Most people, if not all, would tell him he was crazy for telling Kinney about the lying, but who would believe him. He would have to tell his little friends all about what he did and how he handled the situation. Who would want to help him after that? All his friends would just think he was a bigger ass then they all thought and would be disgusted over it. They would turn their backs on him. As for Justin, after all the stuff Kinney said, Justin would never trust him again. How glorious was that! Walking the rest of the way to his house, Thomas thought of what he would do next to ensure his place in Justin’s heart.

###~~~###

Brian walked to the front door of Mel and Lindz’s house. When he had gotten over his shock at the things that guy told him. He then had to get over his shock at his saying yes to having another kid with Lindsay. He really did not want another kid; he had enough coming out of the woodwork. He neither needed nor wanted anymore. So here he was, about to talk to Lindsay and try to explain to her without giving away his secret to why he wanted no more kids.

Ringing the doorbell, Brian waited till someone came to answer.

“Oh, what do you want asshole?” Melanie asked as she saw who was outside. 

“I wanted to talk to you and Lindsay” Brian said already getting defensive. 

“Well, Lindsay isn’t here. She went grocery shopping.” Melanie said, about to close the door

Looking at Mel, Brian replied “I guess you will just have to do then”

Pushing open the door, and barging in. He walked over to the couch and sat down waiting for Mel to close the door and sit near him.

“Well, would you like to come in and make yourself comfortable” Mel said disliking Brian even more in this moment. 

She was floored when Lindsay had gotten off the phone and told Mel that Brian said yes to another baby. She was fucking pissed. She did not want Brian to be their next kid’s father. But she did see where the decision came from. Their kids would have the same mother and father. They would be actual siblings. Brian was not her first choice, far from it. But she did see the need for it.

“I can’t do it” Brian said out of nowhere

Mel was confused “Do what?”

“I can’t be the baby’s father. I wasn’t thinking about something else when I said yes to her. I was distracted. I don’t want anymore kids.”

“What! Then why did you get her hopes up and tell her yes you asshole” Mel was pissed, but also kind of relieved.

“I told you. I wasn’t thinking. Mel, I don’t want another kid. I just don’t”

The asshole. She couldn’t even yell at him. He was looking so pathetic sitting there telling her this shit.

“Well what do you want me to do Brian?” Mel asked “Lindsay already has her heart set on you being the father.”

“I know. I know ok. I just need you to tell her. I need you to talk to her. Mel, please. You want me as the father even less than I want to.”

“Why, why should I do this for you?”

Brian got up and walked towards the door before he answered “Because, you can get who really deserves it and who you really want to be your baby’s father. Don’t let Lindz make you settle for me.” Then he left

Mel was left staring at the door, for once not having anything bad to say about Brian.

###~~~###

Justin closed his door when he was fully into his apartment. He had just come from looking at school’s with Amy. Walking to his couch-well waddling-he sat down. 

Now that he was farther along in his pregnancy, about 5, 6 months, his little bump that he had, has now become a protruding bump. Before, he was able to see his feet, but now, he was barely able to see anything below his stomach. He had to pee all the fucking time, he was even grossing himself out sometimes with the food he crazed to eat, he was much more tired than he was ever been and the worst part of it was that he was gaining weight. He almost cried the first time, he gained weight from the pregnancy. Amy tried to tell him he would lose it all after the baby was born, but he still mourned the lost of his perfect body.

Justin was just getting comfortable when he heard the knock at his door. Sighing, Justin tried to get up from the couch, but was having trouble because of the extra weight gain, another reason to cry, his inability to get up from anything easily anymore. That was also the other reason he hated being pregnant, his hormones were out of control and it was driving him crazy. He felt the need to cry all the time, either that or to yell at people for no reason.

Deciding to stop trying to get up, Justin just yelled out.

“Come in, the door’s open”

“You know, you really shouldn’t leave your door open, you could get killed”

Justin stared out in shock at the person who stood in his doorway.

“What?” Justin whispered

“Hey sunshine, aren’t you going to invite me in?”

“Brian….” Justin said in shock.


	9. The Beginning Or The End

AN: Well everybody, this is the last chapter of The Beginning or The End. The title might mean nothing, but I’ll leave it up to you to decide if this really is the end of all things or the beginning of something more. There will be sequel to this. Thnxs to all of you who reviewed and stuck with me and the story in between the long posting periods. Also, thnxs to my all my friends who told me to keep writing. Umm I know I skip a lot of the timeframe, but I just love dramatic parts so much LOL. Now that the sap is over with, ON TO THE STORY! Enjoy!

* * *

Justin stared in shock at the person standing in the doorway. Brian was here. BRIAN WAS HERE! Justin could not get over that fact.

Staring into Brian’s face, he saw that he looked the same. He was even wearing his ‘I am laughing at your shock’ smirk. Moving from his face, Justin continued looking at him. ‘He still looks hot’ Justin thought to himself laughing a little to himself. He would have further explored if it was not for Brian wanting his attention at that moment.

“Justin,” Brian started “Hellooooo. Are you even there anymore? Or has my awesome body left you breathless?” Brian said jokingly.

That snapped Justin out of his musings. ‘Brian’s joking, what a big surprise that is.’ Justin thought sarcastically to himself.

“You are right. Your body is just so awesome. I needed a minute or two to catch my breath” Justin said sarcastically and even adding a sarcastic smile at the end. 

“Brian smirked more, creating the illusion that he was not nervous as hell and unprepared for what he was going to say.

It had taken about one hour after he left Mel and Lindz’s before he jumped on a plane to ready to see Justin. It had taken him 30 minutes longer, to actually realize what he was doing. It was not that he thought about going to see Justin a lot. It was just the fact that all this talk about babies made him almost frantic to see Justin tonight.

Once he had gotten here, He prayed to god that Justin still had the same apartment that he did when he first came out here. When he knocked and heard Justin’s voice, Brian breathed a sigh of relief. He was here. He did not change apartments. Brian had to admit, he thought it was funny as hell that Justin was so shocked by his presence. In fact, Brian was not even over the fact he was here yet. It was still sinking in.

“So, Brian,” Justin started. “What are you doing here?” He finished.

“Well….”

)=( )=( )=(

Thomas whistled as he walked down the street. He decided to give up stalking Justin for the day. There were things he had to do. He looked up at the store and smiled. ‘Yes, Justin will definitely be mine after this’

Smiling, Thomas opened the door and walked in. 

)=( )=( )=(

Justin sighed as he sat down on Amy’s couch. He hated that he had to waddle instead of walk. It was throwing his balance all off. Amy was being such a good friend to him. He decided he would ask her today to be his child’s godmother.

“OK Justin. You came all the way over here, what is the problem?” Amy asked once she got Justin something to drink and something nutritious to eat. Suddenly, she had a thought and sat up straighter getting frantic “It’s not the baby is it? Are you ok? God Justin…..”

“Amy” Justin said interrupting her before she got even more worked up then she was. Taking her hands in his, he stroked them to cam her down. “Nothing is wrong with the baby. I just…. I just wanted to tell you”

“What Justin? What did you want to tell me?” Amy asked scared that what Justin wanted to tell her was awful.

“It’s just that” Justin started to say. “I wanted to ask you if you would be my kid’s godmother.” Justin asked. That was not what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell her about Brian. But it can wait. He decided to turn his attention to Amy to see what her answer was. 

It was gratifying to see Amy in total shock. Justin’s laughing was what brought Amy out of her shock.

“Umm… Justin, wow. I do not know what to say.” Amy said stuttering 

“Say yes Amy. Say you will be the baby’s godmother.” Justin said almost pleadingly

“Yes, Justin. I would love to be” Amy said after she got over her shock. She knew she made the right choice when she saw Justin’s face light up. 

“Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you” Justin said “If I wasn’t as big as a house. I would pick you up and hug you. Granted, as soon as I lose the weight, I will pick you up and swing you around.

Amy laughed. 

“Now, what else do you want to talk about?”

)=( )=( )=(

Justin left Amy’s feeling better than he did earlier. He told her all about how Brian came here and he did not want to get back together, he just wanted to make sure Justin was ok. 

Justin was confused about that part. I mean, he could have just asked Justin if he was ok over the phone. He did not need to come 3000 miles to check up on him. 

Justin decided not to think about Brian too much. Before he left, he told Brian to leave him alone, he told him he did not want his help, nor needed his help. 

Brian did not seem to get the point. He told Justin he was not going to leave him alone. He would help him these last few months. Then he left.

Justin sighed as he thought about it. He did not want Brian here and he would be damned if he let Brian boss him around.

2 months later. ) =( ) =( )=( Justin is 8 months pregnant

“Brian, I said to leave me alone.” Justin was exasperated. Since Brian had come down to California 2 months ago. He wouldn’t leave him alone. Every morning he was here until Justin went to sleep. He didn’t have any peace.

Today was the last straw. Justin has had enough. He stood up from the couch, ignoring Brian’s snickers as it took him a few tries. 

“Leave me Brian. I need a few hours to myself” Justin said.

Brian stared at Justin. He did not want to go, but he would. Sighing, Brian decided to go to a club and have a night out.

“Fine. I’m going. But I am going to be back in a few hours to check on you.” Brian said, already walking to the door. 

“Yeah, Yeah, whatever.” Justin said already relaxing at the thought of being alone. 

Brian said nothing, but smirked then walked out of the door.

)=( )=( )=(

Brian had to admit, this club was nice. He was not even here for more than a few minutes before people were falling at his feet.

He found a guy he wanted to take home about 2 hours later. 

“Hey,” Brian said walking up behind the guy. “You are coming home with me”

The guy was ok. He was not extremely hot or anything. What Brian was mostly looking for was a good ass. He had a good enough one, so home with Brian he will go.

The guy did not even look at Brian before he said yes. ‘This guy is such a whore’ Brian thought.

Brian’s Apartment )=( )=( )=(

Justin took a deep breath and knocked. He was at Brian’s apartment because felt he was being too mean at Brian. Yes, Brian deserved everything he dished out and more, but he did not deserve the lengths Justin is going to just to be difficult. 

He waited another moment until he heard no one coming. He tried the door and found it unlocked. Opening the door and looking inside. Justin instantly fainted.

)=( )=( )=(

“What the fuck was that?” Brian asked, stopping the trick from blowing him further. 

“I don’t know man. But come on, I’m horny” The trick whined to Brian

Brian looked disgustingly at the trick whining and got up to put on some clothes so he could see what the noise was.

“Oh my god. JUSTIN!” Brian yelled when he saw what the noise was. 

“Justin, Justin wake up” Brian shook Justin yelling at him to wake up. He was about to call Justin’s doctor, when he heard Justin moan.

“mmm” Justin moaned waking up.

“Come on Justin. Come on. Wake up.” 

The trick smiled when he saw who Brian was talking to. 

“Leave me alone” Justin moaned.

“I can’t do that Justin” Brian said. He could not be more freaked out. Justin had seen him with a trick. Justin probably hated him more.

)=( )=( )=(

Justin moaned when he was finally awake. Seeing Brian when he opened his eyes was not a good sight for him at the moment. Justin pushed away Brian’s hands and stood up on his own-albeit a little shakily- and moved to the other side of the room.

“How could you?” Justin whispered

“Justin...” Brian started before he was interrupted.

“No, you don’t get to talk. It’s my turn to talk” Justin said calmly “How could you do this to me? You came here to take care of me and you could not even last a couple of months. You are an ass.”

The trick smiled as he watched the scene. This was too funny

“Oh, you don’t get to smile.” Justin said turning on the trick. “Get out” He continued

“Justin” The trick started not smiling anymore.

“I said, get out Thomas” Justin said finally raising his voice. 

Thomas left, for once feeling a little remorse. That feeling only lasted till he cleared the doorway and heard Justin yelling at Brian again. He smirked. Justin will be his after all. 

“Justin…” Brian started as soon as the trick left. He was kind of in shock. He knew that guy. He never looked at the picture. But after the guy called him, Brian had Cynthia do a check on the guy. He did not like what he found. 

But Brian could not tell Justin that. Not after everything he had done. So, he stood there. He stood there while Justin reamed him out. He stood there while Justin criticized him. He stood there while he watched Justin get progressively redder and finally, he stood there in shock when Justin passed out.

)=( )=( )=(

Brian sat in the waiting room. When Justin passed out, he called an ambulance and called his doctor. When they al arrived in the hospital, Justin was taken into the emergency room and he was left out in the waiting room.

5 hours. 5 hours while he waited to know whether Justin and the kid lived or died. 5 hours while he thought about all that has happened. 5 hours till he had his answer on what he had to do. 5 hours till he was told he was able to see Justin.

)=( )=( )=(

Brian walked into the room. He was told that Justin would wake up in about 10 minutes or less. He looked at the figure in the bed and knew what he was doing was the right choice. 

“Justin, I tried. When they told me they had to do an emergency c-section, I was worried. I was worried you would not make it. Then I thought about the baby. What would happen if you lost the baby? I had 5 hours to think about what I had to do and now looking at you; I realize it is the right choice.” 

Brian leaned down and kissed Justin on his cheek 

“Goodbye Justin.” Brian whispered. Then he left.

Justin opened his eyes, not really seeing anything. He had heard all that Brian had said. He knew that Brian was not cut out for this. He knew this. But it did not hurt any less. 

Justin turned over in the bed. He could not think about this now. He had a kid to take care of and he had to take care of himself. Brian had made his bed and now he needs to lie in it.

)=( )=( )=(

Thomas walked into the hospital whistling, hands in pockets. When he had arrived at work, the place was abuzz with the fact that Justin had the baby. As soon as he got off work, he rushed right down here. He had something very important for him.

Coming up to the door, Thomas knocked lightly before he went in. There was Justin, with their son in his arms. Taking the item out of his pockets, he made sure he had Justin’s attention before walking up to him, getting on his knees and saying 3 words.

“Justin, Marry me”


End file.
